1 00:00:14,855 --> 00:00:20,194 For the past few years, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant, and Karl Pilkington 2 00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:23,997 have been meeting regularly for a series of pointless conversations. 3 00:00:24,031 --> 00:00:25,898 Th is one of them. 4 00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:27,133 Testing. 5 00:00:27,167 --> 00:00:28,201 Is that all right? 6 00:00:30,471 --> 00:00:34,007 Hello, and welcome to the Ricky Gervais show, with me, Ricky gervais, 7 00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:35,342 Stephen Merchant... 8 00:00:36,878 --> 00:00:39,446 This is the worst chair I've ever sat on, 9 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,482 and I've sat on some fucking chairs in my time. 10 00:00:41,516 --> 00:00:44,184 Yeah. All right. Are we started? 11 00:00:44,218 --> 00:00:45,352 One, one... 12 00:00:45,386 --> 00:00:46,519 Are we recording? 13 00:00:46,554 --> 00:00:48,121 Yeah. Ready? 14 00:00:48,155 --> 00:00:49,756 Yeah. 15 00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:52,858 Hello, and welcome to a brand-new series. 16 00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:55,193 What? That's ridiculous. 17 00:00:55,228 --> 00:00:59,964 I know. I was getting... I was getting all fired up. 18 00:00:59,998 --> 00:01:02,266 He was getting excited... And motivated. 19 00:01:03,268 --> 00:01:04,435 What are you talking about? 20 00:01:04,469 --> 00:01:06,004 One one one one one... just seems a bit loud, that. 21 00:01:06,038 --> 00:01:08,573 Well, well you should have sorted that out. 22 00:01:10,876 --> 00:01:12,544 Karl, are we ready now? 23 00:01:12,578 --> 00:01:13,678 Yeah, I suppose. 24 00:01:13,712 --> 00:01:16,181 Well come back here then, you dopey bald twat! 25 00:01:17,583 --> 00:01:20,885 Hello? Yeah. I'll just, I'll just sit like that. 26 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,320 Right, okay, ready? So, it was your problem? 27 00:01:22,355 --> 00:01:23,421 Oh, Jesus. 28 00:01:23,489 --> 00:01:24,656 It's just this carpet. 29 00:01:24,690 --> 00:01:25,824 Right, ready? 30 00:01:25,858 --> 00:01:27,659 Yeah. 31 00:01:27,693 --> 00:01:30,295 Hello, welcome to a brand-new series of the Ricky Gervais show, 32 00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:31,430 with me, Ricky Gervais... 33 00:01:31,464 --> 00:01:32,931 - Hello. - Well, no. 34 00:01:34,101 --> 00:01:35,734 I was so excited to say hello. 35 00:01:35,769 --> 00:01:38,471 Okay, right, okay. 36 00:01:38,505 --> 00:01:41,374 Hello, and welcome to a brand-new series of the Ricky Gervais show, 37 00:01:41,408 --> 00:01:42,975 with me, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant... 38 00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:43,754 Hello. 39 00:01:43,874 --> 00:01:46,945 And the little, round-headed shaven chimp that is Karl Pilkington. 40 00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:48,180 Right. 41 00:01:50,349 --> 00:01:54,185 Sync and corrections by sp8ky for www.Addic7ed.Com 42 00:01:54,219 --> 00:01:56,387 while I was at my parents' house they often, you know, 43 00:01:56,421 --> 00:01:59,990 they keep clippings of things, you know. If we've been mentioned in the papers. 44 00:02:00,025 --> 00:02:03,326 Don't know if you've heard this, Karl, in the Sunday times, 45 00:02:03,361 --> 00:02:06,496 they, uh, someone's written a letter about Karl. 46 00:02:06,530 --> 00:02:07,079 Wow. 47 00:02:07,108 --> 00:02:09,933 They can send in comments and views on things they've seen, read, heard. 48 00:02:09,967 --> 00:02:10,455 Oh, excellent. 49 00:02:10,492 --> 00:02:13,803 And this is what they, someone wrote to the, uh, Sunday times. 50 00:02:13,838 --> 00:02:18,609 "Who is Karl Pilkington? And why have I just wasted five minutes of my life 51 00:02:18,643 --> 00:02:22,980 listening to some of his cretinous thoughts on channel four? 52 00:02:23,014 --> 00:02:27,318 "He asked, 'why are there so many dinosaurs on display in museums?' 53 00:02:27,353 --> 00:02:31,556 "Quotes, 'couldn't they just choose the best one and just show that?'" 54 00:02:31,590 --> 00:02:35,093 "He summed it all up by deciding that, 'we know too much.'" 55 00:02:35,128 --> 00:02:39,532 "somebody clearly doesn't know enough to know that this is a complete waste of airtime," 56 00:02:39,566 --> 00:02:43,537 "showing no wit, intellect or creativity." 57 00:02:43,571 --> 00:02:45,639 That's from Wendy in barkshire. 58 00:02:45,673 --> 00:02:47,708 You gotta have your critics. You know what I mean? 59 00:02:47,742 --> 00:02:48,842 You've gotta have your critics? 60 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,055 'Course you have. 61 00:02:50,175 --> 00:02:52,646 If everybody liked what you did, then you're not doing the right thing. 62 00:02:54,149 --> 00:02:56,584 But, think how angry she must have been to have bothered 63 00:02:56,651 --> 00:02:58,398 writing this letter to the Sunday times. 64 00:02:58,436 --> 00:02:59,421 Yeah, well it's good though. 65 00:02:59,455 --> 00:03:01,289 I mean, you really must have... 66 00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:03,258 It's all about getting people thinking. That's what I always say to you. 67 00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:06,523 As long as I'm getting people thinking about what I've said. 68 00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:07,361 She remembered what I said. 69 00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:08,729 Yeah. 70 00:03:08,764 --> 00:03:10,431 I'll tell you now, right? This is... yeah, I've... 71 00:03:10,465 --> 00:03:12,799 I don't know if Wendy's, you know, listening to this... 72 00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,301 Almost certainly not. 73 00:03:14,335 --> 00:03:15,402 But listen, right? 74 00:03:15,436 --> 00:03:18,972 I was saying about the, the uh, museums, right? 75 00:03:19,006 --> 00:03:20,573 And how they're big and everything? 76 00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:23,009 Brilliant. And they've got dinosaurs all over the shop. 77 00:03:23,043 --> 00:03:28,080 I read that in that museum, they've got something like... 78 00:03:28,115 --> 00:03:29,282 Uh... 79 00:03:29,316 --> 00:03:33,220 Seven million bits of stuff in there, right? 80 00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:37,391 Now, when I spend two hours in somewhere, just show me the good stuff. 81 00:03:37,426 --> 00:03:39,561 Don't be saying we've got seven million bits. 82 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:42,130 'Cause there was a fella who, a fela lwho opened it, right? 83 00:03:42,164 --> 00:03:44,666 I did a bit of research on the museum. 84 00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:45,734 What museum was it? 85 00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:46,735 It was the London one. 86 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:47,869 Oh, the London one, yeah. 87 00:03:47,904 --> 00:03:49,304 So he's in there, and he's, 88 00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:51,739 he's collecting all this, you know, bits of stuff. 89 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:52,798 What stuff? 90 00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,676 - Just whatever's knocking about at that time. - Oh, okay. 91 00:03:54,710 --> 00:03:55,811 It seemed like... 92 00:03:55,845 --> 00:03:56,366 You have researched it. 93 00:03:56,395 --> 00:03:58,680 He never chucked anything away. Oh. 94 00:03:58,715 --> 00:04:00,181 He said, "oh, I won't put in the bin. Pop it on the shelf," right? 95 00:04:00,216 --> 00:04:01,950 So he's put everything on a shelf in his museum. 96 00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:03,371 Then, as time went on... 97 00:04:03,399 --> 00:04:05,720 I think you're going into too much detail, but just give us the gist of it. 98 00:04:05,755 --> 00:04:08,090 No, but I I'm saying is, uh, he keeps everything, 99 00:04:08,124 --> 00:04:11,693 and if you keep everything, sometimes it'll be good stuff. All right? 100 00:04:11,727 --> 00:04:17,265 Um... and a lot of the stuff was going missing. The good stuff. 101 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,635 But people who set these museums up are just as crafty. 102 00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:21,936 What? 103 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,372 The fella who found Tutankhamen, 104 00:04:24,406 --> 00:04:26,941 he was pocketing all sorts of fingers and stuff in his pockets on the way out. 105 00:04:28,510 --> 00:04:31,913 That had rings on them and stuff. So all I'm saying is, 106 00:04:31,947 --> 00:04:33,347 why is she having a go? 107 00:04:33,349 --> 00:04:34,882 She's learned something. But hang on, wait, no... 108 00:04:34,916 --> 00:04:36,683 But we just gave you the chance then, to defend yourself, 109 00:04:36,718 --> 00:04:40,253 and you just confirmed Wendy's point a thousand times over! 110 00:04:40,287 --> 00:04:42,455 What was all this waffle about people nicking stuff? 111 00:04:42,489 --> 00:04:44,290 What's that got to do with anything? 112 00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:46,660 Because she's having a go at me. I didn't Nick anything. 113 00:04:46,694 --> 00:04:49,897 But she's having a go you for talking nonsense that's of no consequence, 114 00:04:49,931 --> 00:04:51,599 which is what you just did then! 115 00:04:51,633 --> 00:04:53,701 - That's not nonsense. - But what was your point? 116 00:04:53,735 --> 00:04:55,670 All right, then. We'll watch Wendy's little program when that goes out. 117 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:58,307 Let's see what she's got to talk about. 118 00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,542 Sick of her. 119 00:05:01,242 --> 00:05:04,947 This is why Wendy's having a go, though. Because you're not being open-minded. 120 00:05:04,981 --> 00:05:06,227 You're not thinking about... 121 00:05:06,255 --> 00:05:09,185 But we're being open-minded to good ideas, to sensible thought. 122 00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:11,087 To intellectual considerations. 123 00:05:11,121 --> 00:05:14,457 We're not being open-minded to this utter drivel. 124 00:05:14,491 --> 00:05:18,228 Yeah, but every invention is a bit... Who'd have thought the frisbee would have caught on? 125 00:05:18,262 --> 00:05:21,331 I love the fact that you think the frisbee is the pinnacle of invention. 126 00:05:21,365 --> 00:05:21,922 Yeah. 127 00:05:21,932 --> 00:05:23,124 I think it's amazing. 128 00:05:23,143 --> 00:05:26,603 No it's an example of something that, you know, if he was on some program 129 00:05:26,638 --> 00:05:30,040 where you, you know, you said, "I've invented this," they'd go, "get out." 130 00:05:30,074 --> 00:05:33,110 They wouldn't have... They wouldn't give him the time of day to say, 131 00:05:33,144 --> 00:05:35,712 "right, I've made this thing. It's out of plastic. You throw it about." 132 00:05:35,747 --> 00:05:37,047 "Well, what for?" 133 00:05:37,081 --> 00:05:38,081 "Well, you just Chuck it about on the beach." 134 00:05:38,116 --> 00:05:39,382 "What's the point?" 135 00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,585 "It's a bit of fun, isn't it?" "No I don't like it." 136 00:05:41,619 --> 00:05:43,354 Okay, that was an argument with himself. 137 00:05:43,388 --> 00:05:45,089 No, but do you know what mean? It's a popular little thing, 138 00:05:45,123 --> 00:05:46,891 and I'm just saying it's easy to put ideas down. 139 00:05:46,925 --> 00:05:49,794 But you've never even come up with an idea as good as the frisbee, 140 00:05:49,828 --> 00:05:51,329 and that's saying something. 141 00:05:51,363 --> 00:05:54,165 I came up with a clippable mat that goes on a cup. 142 00:05:54,199 --> 00:05:57,001 And it's... it's a good little thing. I haven't followed it through yet. 143 00:05:57,035 --> 00:05:58,869 A what? A clippable mat. 144 00:05:58,904 --> 00:06:00,838 What's a clippable mat? What is that... 145 00:06:00,872 --> 00:06:04,509 A clippable mat that you stick on a cup, so you, you put your cup down on a table, 146 00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:06,778 without having to go, "where's that mat?" 147 00:06:06,812 --> 00:06:09,180 It's, it's clipped to the cup all the time, 148 00:06:09,214 --> 00:06:11,749 and you put the cup down wherever you want 'cause it's got a mat on it. 149 00:06:11,783 --> 00:06:12,622 I think I've seen that. 150 00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:14,752 But why does it have to be clipped to it? No, I think I have. 151 00:06:14,786 --> 00:06:16,753 Why couldn't it just be built into the cup? 152 00:06:16,788 --> 00:06:18,756 Because, uh... 153 00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:22,260 So it clips onto... you gotta have special cups, it doesn't clip onto every cup? 154 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,996 No, but just the same way that every saucer's different, 155 00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:27,397 you don't say, "oh, I'm sick of this saucer, it doesn't fit a mug." 156 00:06:27,432 --> 00:06:29,699 You, you use the saucer. Like, I mean, I don't use saucers. 157 00:06:30,768 --> 00:06:32,001 Just don't buy... 158 00:06:32,035 --> 00:06:34,002 But isn't a saucer what you're talking about? 159 00:06:34,037 --> 00:06:36,004 Uh, kind of, yeah, but it's clippable. 160 00:06:36,038 --> 00:06:41,141 See, Karl, when he disses all these great inventions and design, 161 00:06:41,176 --> 00:06:43,010 when he says you don't need them, it's just faffin', 162 00:06:43,044 --> 00:06:46,746 what he means is he's a little bit annoyed that no one's picked up on his ideas, 163 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:52,319 like the clippable mat for the mug. Or, uh, I don't know, what's the one about the tie? 164 00:06:52,353 --> 00:06:54,354 The tie that had a pocket? 165 00:06:54,388 --> 00:06:55,503 Loads of pockets. 166 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:58,157 But I didn't come up with that. That's something that I saw somewhere. 167 00:06:58,191 --> 00:06:59,658 It never caught on. 168 00:06:59,692 --> 00:07:01,693 I've never seen anyone wearing one. Yet it's such a good... 169 00:07:01,728 --> 00:07:04,029 It's not a good idea. It is a good idea. 170 00:07:04,063 --> 00:07:06,866 It's like having a carrier bag around your neck. It doesn't make any sense. 171 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:09,135 It's a tie packed with stuff you were... 172 00:07:09,169 --> 00:07:11,004 "Oi, Frank, nice tie. What you got in there?" 173 00:07:11,038 --> 00:07:13,574 "Baguette, um..." 174 00:07:13,608 --> 00:07:15,009 It's ridiculous. 175 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,711 Well, imagine the day that the tie was invented. 176 00:07:16,745 --> 00:07:18,780 "There you go. Do you want a tie ?" "What do you do with it?" 177 00:07:18,814 --> 00:07:20,482 "Put it around your neck." "What for?" 178 00:07:20,516 --> 00:07:21,950 "Um, I don't know." 179 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:23,418 Well, I'll tell ya. What? 180 00:07:23,452 --> 00:07:24,953 Uh, because you haven't invented buttons yet, 181 00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,455 and it keeps your shirt together at the top. 182 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,157 "Well, all right, then, right. Uh, we've invented buttons, 183 00:07:30,191 --> 00:07:31,625 "are we going to stop making these ties?" 184 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:32,726 "No." "Why?" 185 00:07:33,928 --> 00:07:34,872 He's got you there, Rick. There you go. 186 00:07:34,992 --> 00:07:37,696 Now, I'm saying, "what are you doing with that tie around your neck?" 187 00:07:37,731 --> 00:07:39,731 "Oh, it's a pocket tie." "It's a what?" "Pocket tie." 188 00:07:39,766 --> 00:07:41,199 "What do you mean?" 189 00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:42,467 "It's got pockets in it." "Huh. That's weird." 190 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:44,536 So. I've got pockets in me jacket. 191 00:07:44,570 --> 00:07:47,105 Yeah, I know but, but, hang on, hang on a minute. It's a hot day, isn't it? 192 00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:48,106 Don't want to put your jacket on. 193 00:07:48,141 --> 00:07:50,142 Uh, or a tie, ugh. 194 00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:52,244 Well if you're gonna wear a jacket, wear a tie. Leave the jacket at home. 195 00:07:52,278 --> 00:07:53,764 I'm not wearing a jacket. I'm wearing a shirt. 196 00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,281 Give it a purpose. If you're gonna wear something, give it a purpose. 197 00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:58,417 Everything has a purpose. 198 00:07:58,451 --> 00:08:01,988 A tie, at the moment, is just 'round your neck, keeping you hot. 199 00:08:02,022 --> 00:08:05,391 If you're going to be hot, carry something, hands free. 200 00:08:05,425 --> 00:08:06,773 And everything's always there. 201 00:08:06,811 --> 00:08:09,294 A bag, you put stuff in a bag, you put a bag down, and you forget it. 202 00:08:09,328 --> 00:08:10,996 I always forget bags. That's why I don't like carrying tm. 203 00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,932 You pop it down, you get up, you walk off. Oh, where's the bag? 204 00:08:13,966 --> 00:08:16,468 A tie, when you go in a cafe or something for beans on toast, 205 00:08:16,502 --> 00:08:17,635 you don't take your tie off. 206 00:08:17,670 --> 00:08:19,971 I don't wear a tie. I would if it had pockets. 207 00:08:20,005 --> 00:08:21,005 Karl! 208 00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:22,417 The country would look smarter. 209 00:08:22,537 --> 00:08:24,876 Right. You have a pocket. So what are you carrying in this pocket? 210 00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,444 I have got spare change... 211 00:08:26,478 --> 00:08:27,545 Yeah, okay. 212 00:08:27,579 --> 00:08:28,479 Which, uh... 213 00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:31,616 You're rattling around like a, like a cow in Switzerland, just like... 214 00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:35,086 The spare change... I've got, uh, like, me debit card in there. 215 00:08:35,121 --> 00:08:36,588 Right. 216 00:08:36,622 --> 00:08:39,325 Uh, maybe got me a little front-door key in one of the pockets. 217 00:08:39,359 --> 00:08:40,359 Okay. 218 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:41,994 A pair of scissors, if you want. 219 00:08:42,029 --> 00:08:43,863 Amazing. That's safe, isn't it? 220 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,698 That's a good place put it, just around the heart area. 221 00:08:45,732 --> 00:08:47,033 Yeah, near the throat. 222 00:08:47,067 --> 00:08:48,100 Yeah. 223 00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:49,384 Probably facing upwards, brilliant. 224 00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:51,318 Karl, think what you're saying. 225 00:08:51,438 --> 00:08:54,506 So when you, when you're on the beach, and you've just got your speedos on, 226 00:08:54,541 --> 00:08:57,509 pop a tie on, go to the shop, pop a tie on. 227 00:08:57,543 --> 00:08:59,544 No, you wear it in the appropriate times. 228 00:08:59,578 --> 00:09:03,347 But I'm just saying, if you're going to wear a tie, let's make it useful. 229 00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:04,615 Let's give it a purpose. 230 00:09:04,649 --> 00:09:06,183 Don't wear a tie. It's all right. 231 00:09:06,217 --> 00:09:08,752 You do not need a tie with pockets. If you're wearing a tie, 232 00:09:08,787 --> 00:09:10,421 you've got clothes with pockets. 233 00:09:10,455 --> 00:09:12,956 And it's going to be weighing your neck down. If... I mean, come on. 234 00:09:12,991 --> 00:09:14,027 It's not practical. 235 00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,727 Don't go mad. If you're carrying anything big, you buy the scarf version. 236 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:26,102 Karl said the most exciting words. 237 00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:29,072 He said, "I've had another film idea." 238 00:09:29,139 --> 00:09:30,506 Wow. 239 00:09:30,541 --> 00:09:33,709 Does it star Clive Warren? 240 00:09:33,743 --> 00:09:37,713 Sell it to me like I'm a Hollywood executive. Sell me the film. 241 00:09:37,747 --> 00:09:39,914 So, what I was thinking is... 242 00:09:39,949 --> 00:09:41,149 Um... 243 00:09:42,384 --> 00:09:44,819 I'm picturing... 244 00:09:44,853 --> 00:09:48,557 Probably... it doesn't matter, it's not as fixed. It doesn't have to be this person. 245 00:09:48,591 --> 00:09:50,225 But I'm thinking Tom Cruise. 246 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:51,493 Okay. Cruisy, yeah. 247 00:09:51,528 --> 00:09:52,728 Excellent. Excellent, yeah. 248 00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,530 Um, 249 00:09:54,564 --> 00:09:56,398 and the way it works is... 250 00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:59,902 Do you know Tom, by the way, or have you got an in there or... 251 00:09:59,969 --> 00:10:01,003 No. 252 00:10:01,071 --> 00:10:02,338 Okay. But you just... 253 00:10:02,372 --> 00:10:04,073 New sort of film... 254 00:10:04,107 --> 00:10:05,808 That would appeal to Tom. That he'd, he'd sort of be into. 255 00:10:05,842 --> 00:10:06,875 I think it would excite him. 256 00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,477 Ok. Great. Okay. 257 00:10:08,511 --> 00:10:10,012 Um, so... 258 00:10:10,046 --> 00:10:11,513 Have we ordered coffees? Did, um... 259 00:10:11,548 --> 00:10:12,615 What? 260 00:10:12,682 --> 00:10:13,783 Did Cheryl get you a coffee? 261 00:10:13,817 --> 00:10:15,418 - Yeah. - Oh okay, thanks, great. 262 00:10:15,452 --> 00:10:16,652 So... 263 00:10:16,687 --> 00:10:17,853 You hungry at all? Do you wanna... 264 00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:18,954 - No. - No, great. 265 00:10:19,022 --> 00:10:19,621 So, uh... 266 00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:22,825 Cheryl, I might have a tea, actually, Cheryl, if you could... 267 00:10:22,859 --> 00:10:24,691 Will we wait for the teas before she comes in? 268 00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:25,555 She'll just... 269 00:10:25,593 --> 00:10:27,499 She'll just sneak in, she'll be... she will be very quiet. 270 00:10:27,518 --> 00:10:30,033 She's like a dormouse. You won't even know she's come in. 271 00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:31,380 Okay. You just... 272 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,305 You've got your coffee? No, no, I'm fine, thanks. 273 00:10:34,339 --> 00:10:36,007 Go. Actually, 274 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:38,376 uh, I will have a tea actually, Cheryl. 275 00:10:38,411 --> 00:10:39,678 Two teas, Cheryl. Thanks. 276 00:10:39,712 --> 00:10:41,113 Okay,. 277 00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:43,015 Right. 278 00:10:43,049 --> 00:10:44,083 Thanks, Cheryl. 279 00:10:44,117 --> 00:10:46,719 Thank you. Thanks. 280 00:10:46,753 --> 00:10:49,188 Is there sugar... sorry, is there sugar in this, Cheryl? 281 00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:52,457 Shut the door behind you. Thank you. 282 00:10:52,491 --> 00:10:54,559 Okay. All the way. Go. 283 00:10:54,593 --> 00:10:56,127 Go. 284 00:10:56,162 --> 00:10:59,731 Tom Cruise. So I got Tom Cruise, that's what I've pictured so far. 285 00:10:59,765 --> 00:11:02,834 He, he's just done Mission Impossible 7... 286 00:11:02,868 --> 00:11:04,469 Right. 287 00:11:04,503 --> 00:11:06,003 Uh, in this film. 288 00:11:06,038 --> 00:11:08,573 Oh, in the film. So he's playing himself? 289 00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:11,976 No, what you're seeing on the screen is Mission Impossible 7. 290 00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:14,345 So if we get cruise, he is, he is playing himself? 291 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,380 Yeah. 292 00:11:15,414 --> 00:11:16,137 And he's just made... 293 00:11:16,165 --> 00:11:18,850 And in this film, he's just made Mission Impossible 7? 294 00:11:19,226 --> 00:11:20,885 It's the future is it, this? 295 00:11:20,919 --> 00:11:22,119 No, what you're seeing... 296 00:11:22,154 --> 00:11:24,489 Okay, what's this film called? 297 00:11:24,524 --> 00:11:26,291 I haven't got a title yet. 298 00:11:26,326 --> 00:11:28,227 We'll just call it Karl Pilkington project 2. 299 00:11:28,262 --> 00:11:29,529 Right. Okay. Kp2. 300 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,897 So you go in, 301 00:11:30,931 --> 00:11:34,001 the opening thing is Mission Impossible 7. 302 00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:35,269 I thought this was kp2. 303 00:11:35,304 --> 00:11:36,471 Yeah, I'm confused. Yeah. 304 00:11:36,505 --> 00:11:38,406 All right, listen. So what happens is, then, 305 00:11:38,441 --> 00:11:41,277 it, it sort of pans out, you see, it's a telly. 306 00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:42,378 Oh. 307 00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:44,180 There's a bloke watching... 308 00:11:44,214 --> 00:11:45,538 Mission Impossible 7. 309 00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:49,184 Right. His girlfriend's watching it, going "I love Tom Cruise." 310 00:11:49,219 --> 00:11:49,914 Yeah. 311 00:11:49,942 --> 00:11:52,588 He's there going, "I can't be dealing with him." 312 00:11:52,622 --> 00:11:54,089 So it is set in the future, though, this, 313 00:11:54,123 --> 00:11:55,991 'cause we're assuming that he's made 7 so this is a... 314 00:11:56,059 --> 00:11:57,092 Yeah. 315 00:11:57,126 --> 00:11:58,560 How far in the future is it? 316 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,995 Well, when will mission impossible 7 be made? 317 00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:03,098 I don't know. Probably about two years the way it's going. 318 00:12:03,132 --> 00:12:05,497 Right. So, yeah, 2013? 319 00:12:05,617 --> 00:12:06,661 Let's not get bogged down in all... 320 00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:09,204 All these things we can iron out, as they say, in the script. 321 00:12:09,239 --> 00:12:11,006 So you seeMmission Impossible 7 on the screen... 322 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,375 Cheryl, are any of those biscuits still knocking around? 323 00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:15,044 Do you wanna do this meeting? 324 00:12:15,078 --> 00:12:16,079 Yes I do, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. 325 00:12:16,117 --> 00:12:19,382 Sorry he's a bit... he's easily distracted. But I will have a biscuit as well, Cheryl. 326 00:12:19,416 --> 00:12:23,786 Um, so, okay, I've been watching as though it's Mission Impossible 7, 327 00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:26,288 it's pulled out, there's a guy in his room, in his... 328 00:12:26,322 --> 00:12:27,956 His girlfriend's watching it, she's loving it, 329 00:12:27,991 --> 00:12:29,503 - she's a fan of Tom Cruise. - She loves Tom Cruise, right. 330 00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:32,260 He's a little bit niggled, he wanted to watch something else. 331 00:12:32,295 --> 00:12:33,628 Sure. She decided on the DVD. 332 00:12:33,663 --> 00:12:35,030 He sat there, annoyed. 333 00:12:35,064 --> 00:12:35,785 "I can't be dealing with Tom Cruise. 334 00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:37,699 "I can't believe they've made seven of these films." 335 00:12:37,734 --> 00:12:39,702 Right. "He's a rubbish actor. 336 00:12:39,736 --> 00:12:42,404 "I should be the actor. You know, I've been doing acting for years." 337 00:12:42,438 --> 00:12:43,472 But he's not an actor, he's... 338 00:12:43,506 --> 00:12:44,673 Well he is. Okay. 339 00:12:44,708 --> 00:12:45,808 But he hasn't quite made it. 340 00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:47,476 He's sending a lot of demos off... 341 00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:49,779 Right, so he's a, he's a struggling actor. 342 00:12:49,813 --> 00:12:51,681 Mmm. 343 00:12:51,715 --> 00:12:55,486 So what happens is, next day they get up, right? 344 00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,687 Yep. 345 00:12:56,721 --> 00:12:57,888 She's still going on about Tom Cruise. 346 00:12:57,923 --> 00:12:59,457 Loves him. 347 00:12:59,491 --> 00:13:01,559 He thinks, "I'm sick of him," right? 348 00:13:01,594 --> 00:13:02,811 She loves him. 349 00:13:02,931 --> 00:13:07,065 Darn, my biscuit's gone in my tea. I left it in there too long 'cause he cut me off. 350 00:13:07,099 --> 00:13:08,299 Just hang on. Let me just think. 351 00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:09,367 Can I get the spoon please? 352 00:13:09,402 --> 00:13:11,136 Yeah, sure. 353 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:12,904 Oh, it's all gone soggy. 354 00:13:12,939 --> 00:13:14,406 Soggy. 355 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,307 Cheryl, can we get some more of those biscuits in here, please? 356 00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:17,415 Do you want... do you wanna hear more or... 357 00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:18,955 Yeah I'd love to hear more, please. Yeah, I'd love to, yeah. 358 00:13:18,992 --> 00:13:22,281 I'm just conscious that Colin Firth's coming in. He's won an Oscar, so... 359 00:13:22,315 --> 00:13:24,616 So, um, what happens is, 360 00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:28,453 he gets so annoyed with his girlfriend liking Tom Cruise, 361 00:13:29,755 --> 00:13:31,189 he, um... 362 00:13:32,492 --> 00:13:34,359 He plans to kill him. 363 00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:37,729 So, uh, he sees Tom Cruise, 364 00:13:37,764 --> 00:13:40,465 he kills him somehow. Now it's some way... 365 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:42,234 Now how does he kill him? 366 00:13:42,268 --> 00:13:44,736 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's right. 367 00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:48,172 So he dies in the film, in Mission Impossible 7. 368 00:13:48,207 --> 00:13:49,741 They're doing that thing on the strings. 369 00:13:49,775 --> 00:13:51,242 Right. It cuts, he lands. 370 00:13:51,277 --> 00:13:54,446 Right. His body is in perfect condition. 371 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,181 But how is she watching the film? 372 00:13:56,215 --> 00:13:58,050 The film, yeah. Did they put it out even after Tom Cruise died? 373 00:13:58,084 --> 00:14:00,453 No, no, sorry, he was filming Mission Impossible 8. 374 00:14:00,488 --> 00:14:01,321 So he's... okay, so... 375 00:14:01,355 --> 00:14:02,889 He's filming the next one. 376 00:14:02,923 --> 00:14:04,357 They film the next one. Mission Impossible 8, okay sure. 377 00:14:04,392 --> 00:14:05,892 He's, he's annoyed. 378 00:14:05,927 --> 00:14:07,828 He's going, "I can't believe they're making more of these films." 379 00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:11,065 Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. "I can't get a gig and they're churning this crap out." 380 00:14:11,099 --> 00:14:13,300 So, he on his springs... 381 00:14:13,334 --> 00:14:14,368 On his wires, yeah. 382 00:14:14,402 --> 00:14:15,602 On his wires. Yeah. 383 00:14:15,637 --> 00:14:16,870 Springs sounds better. 384 00:14:16,905 --> 00:14:20,541 He's bouncing around, like a baby... 385 00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:23,011 The string is cut, smash. 386 00:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,047 - Tom Cruise, dead. Right? - Right. 387 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:27,683 Right. 388 00:14:27,717 --> 00:14:29,951 The bloke hears this on the radio, on the news. 389 00:14:29,986 --> 00:14:30,804 Yeah. 390 00:14:30,841 --> 00:14:33,889 The girlfriend's fella. He hears it on the news, he can't believe it. 391 00:14:33,923 --> 00:14:38,259 He's like, "yeah," takes his eye off the road a lite bit in the celebration... 392 00:14:39,495 --> 00:14:42,831 Truck plows into the car. 393 00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:45,033 So he's killed as well? 394 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:46,835 - Well, is he? - Okay. 395 00:14:46,869 --> 00:14:49,037 Little interlude. 396 00:14:49,071 --> 00:14:51,706 Fades up, um, 397 00:14:51,741 --> 00:14:54,542 he comes out of... you're seeing see his eyes sort of opening. 398 00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:56,747 You know when you're seeing out the eyes, you see the eyelids? 399 00:14:56,779 --> 00:14:57,385 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 400 00:14:57,404 --> 00:15:00,882 And you see his girlfriend there sort of looking at him like, a bit, bit startled. 401 00:15:00,917 --> 00:15:02,150 Sure. Oh, yeah. 402 00:15:02,185 --> 00:15:03,518 And he's going, "oh, what happened?" 403 00:15:03,553 --> 00:15:04,953 And she's going, "it's all right, it's all right." 404 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:06,655 And he's going, "oh, get me a mirror." 405 00:15:06,689 --> 00:15:07,395 She's going, "I don't wanna get you mirror yet." 406 00:15:07,396 --> 00:15:08,965 - Okay. - Oh, hold on, what's going on? 407 00:15:08,989 --> 00:15:10,926 "You've, you've had a bad accident." 408 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:11,984 What's he gonna look like? 409 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:15,163 All mirrors are out of the room and everything, he's just learning to, learning to walk. 410 00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:17,899 He's going "why can't I look in the mirror ?" And the doctor's going, "no point." 411 00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:19,435 Yeah. Right, right. 412 00:15:19,469 --> 00:15:21,537 "No point. You've gotta get used to this body." 413 00:15:21,571 --> 00:15:25,941 Then, he gets walking. It's almost time to go home. 414 00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:28,010 Yep. 415 00:15:28,044 --> 00:15:29,678 His girlfriend comes in. Yep. 416 00:15:29,712 --> 00:15:33,247 It's her job to tell him the, the news. 417 00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:35,449 Oh my God, what is the news? 418 00:15:35,483 --> 00:15:40,687 Um, she says, "there's a mirror. Look in there." He looks in it. He's Tom Cruise. 419 00:15:40,721 --> 00:15:41,722 Right. 420 00:15:41,842 --> 00:15:46,892 Because head his accident on the set, he had the accident, he ended up in the hospital, 421 00:15:46,926 --> 00:15:49,929 "quick, quick, we gotta act quick. This is the time, this is the future." 422 00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,331 Right. Where they can use bodies... Here they use... 423 00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:53,370 Bodies, all the rest of it. 424 00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:55,435 So Tom Cruise is dead... Tom Cruise dead. 425 00:15:55,469 --> 00:15:56,903 This bloke Bryan... 426 00:15:56,937 --> 00:15:59,672 His body's squashed, but... 427 00:15:59,706 --> 00:16:01,114 What's his name, Bryan? Yeah. 428 00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:04,310 But Bryan's brain is in Tom Cruise's body? Just a donor body, he just happens to... 429 00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:05,845 Just happened to... That's how it'll be... 430 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,480 It's just meat, it's just... 431 00:16:07,515 --> 00:16:09,416 Just like a lung donor, or a heart donor. Exactly, yeah. 432 00:16:09,451 --> 00:16:13,888 So, so this is Bryan. He just looks like Tom Cruise now. He's got Tom Cruise's flesh. 433 00:16:13,922 --> 00:16:17,659 Yeah. Now at first, initially, he's annoyed. 434 00:16:17,694 --> 00:16:20,596 Sorry, just practically, who is doing the voiceover then for the... 435 00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:22,231 It's Tom now. 436 00:16:22,265 --> 00:16:25,635 So Tom's sort of doing a impression of this actor... 437 00:16:25,669 --> 00:16:27,603 Bryan's inside Tom. 438 00:16:27,637 --> 00:16:29,505 His name is Bryan, but when you look at it on the telly, 439 00:16:29,539 --> 00:16:30,906 when the camera whizzes 'round, 440 00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:32,174 yeah. 441 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,575 And you see him sat in his bed, it's Tom Cruise. 442 00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:34,458 Sure. Right, okay. 443 00:16:34,477 --> 00:16:36,978 His girlfriend's over the moon, 'cause she loves Tom Cruise. 444 00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:38,064 Right. Moon. 445 00:16:38,184 --> 00:16:41,248 He's gutted 'cause he can't stand him, he can't stand the films. He's thinking... 446 00:16:41,283 --> 00:16:42,393 Yeah, but he must be thinking, 447 00:16:42,394 --> 00:16:45,419 "I look like Tom Cruise, one of the most loved actors of his generation." 448 00:16:45,453 --> 00:16:47,954 Well you'd think so, but he's not, because he's in shock, remember. 449 00:16:47,989 --> 00:16:51,058 He was expecting to see himself. When he looks in the mirror, he sees someone else. 450 00:16:51,092 --> 00:16:52,225 Yeah that must be shocking, yeah. 451 00:16:52,259 --> 00:16:53,459 So... Also the voice is... 452 00:16:53,494 --> 00:16:55,037 He's going "I can't stand this." 453 00:16:55,066 --> 00:16:57,631 And she's going "calm down, calm down, you'll get used to it." 454 00:16:57,665 --> 00:16:59,500 "Just don't wanna get used to it." 455 00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:02,837 And, uh, she's sort of saying, "look, you're alive." 456 00:17:02,871 --> 00:17:04,572 Right. 457 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,040 "Stop moaning." Yeah. 458 00:17:06,074 --> 00:17:07,141 "Stop moaning, Bryan." 459 00:17:07,175 --> 00:17:08,275 Uh... 460 00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:09,410 She called him Bryan, I assume? 461 00:17:09,444 --> 00:17:10,286 She says... 462 00:17:10,287 --> 00:17:13,981 And Tom Cruise just had a sort of donor card that allowed his body to be given away, did it? 463 00:17:14,016 --> 00:17:15,383 Yeah, it's the future. Right. 464 00:17:15,418 --> 00:17:19,103 This is, this is 2013 Steve. Things have changed. 465 00:17:20,055 --> 00:17:22,657 Right. What's his Girlfriend's name? 466 00:17:22,691 --> 00:17:23,858 Claire. 467 00:17:23,860 --> 00:17:25,593 Claire. Claire and Bryan, okay. 468 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,762 Okay, just a different body. Just a slightly different look. Claire. 469 00:17:27,796 --> 00:17:29,931 Right. All right, so, he's seen that he looks like Tom Cruise. 470 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,799 He's shocked, but he's getting used to it? 471 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,201 He doesn't look like him, he is him. 472 00:17:33,235 --> 00:17:34,635 When he leaves the hospital... 473 00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:35,504 They go "oh, Tom, I thought you were dead." 474 00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:36,838 They're all going "it's Tom! It's Tom!" 475 00:17:36,875 --> 00:17:39,307 And he's going "oh, yeah," and he's going, "oh, I knew this would happen, 476 00:17:39,341 --> 00:17:40,208 "it's doing me head in." 477 00:17:40,237 --> 00:17:42,010 - So he wheels out, he's in the wheelchair. - Okay. 478 00:17:42,044 --> 00:17:43,678 Sick of this." 479 00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:46,581 Uh, the other patients are going, "Tom, I thought you were dead." 480 00:17:46,615 --> 00:17:48,644 And he's going, "yeah, yeah, yeah." And he's annoyed. 481 00:17:48,663 --> 00:17:52,020 He gets in the car. He gets out there. 482 00:17:52,054 --> 00:17:55,892 And he sees a poster up on the side of the road, right. 483 00:17:55,926 --> 00:17:58,527 For Mission Impossible 8. 484 00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:00,495 It's... hold on, though... 485 00:18:00,529 --> 00:18:02,997 It's finished. I thought he died while they were filming it? 486 00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:03,759 It's not finished. 487 00:18:03,879 --> 00:18:06,935 But now, these days, they're shouting about films before they're made. 488 00:18:06,969 --> 00:18:08,870 Wow. And they go brilliant, and all the hype and everything. 489 00:18:08,904 --> 00:18:10,638 But they put a poster up even after... Seems premature. 490 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,206 No, the poster was already up. 491 00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:14,842 That seems premature, given that a man died during the production. 492 00:18:14,877 --> 00:18:15,910 Doesn't matter! 493 00:18:15,944 --> 00:18:17,545 I'd... I'd have taken the posters down. 494 00:18:17,579 --> 00:18:19,280 No... but then I don't work in Hollywood. 495 00:18:19,314 --> 00:18:20,074 Right. 496 00:18:20,102 --> 00:18:22,883 So the poster's up there, and he sees it as he's in the car driving past. 497 00:18:22,917 --> 00:18:25,318 Yeah. And he thinks, "that can't... That can't be finished." 498 00:18:25,353 --> 00:18:26,386 That makes sense, yea 499 00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:28,254 they both look at each other. 500 00:18:28,289 --> 00:18:30,690 "This is your chance. You wanted to be an actor. This is the chance." 501 00:18:30,724 --> 00:18:31,891 - Yeah. - Right. 502 00:18:31,925 --> 00:18:34,026 Go back to the studio. So he goes in... 503 00:18:35,495 --> 00:18:39,007 "Hello, you don't know me," and they go, "o we think we do." 504 00:18:39,026 --> 00:18:43,067 And he goes, "no you don't. I'm Bryan. Tom died on your film set." 505 00:18:43,101 --> 00:18:45,703 Well, they must know that. They must know... 506 00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:47,638 That Tom Cruise is dead. That Tom Cruise died. 507 00:18:47,673 --> 00:18:49,841 Because his family must have been... 508 00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:51,643 All right, if you want, it makes no difference. We can tweak the script. 509 00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:54,746 So this is... Bryan has turned up, looking like Tom Cruise. 510 00:18:54,781 --> 00:18:59,385 He's at the film company, right, who must know that Tom Cruise died on their film set. 511 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:00,954 What were they gonna do? 512 00:19:00,988 --> 00:19:02,789 Well they would have to wrap it up. They would have had to say... 513 00:19:02,824 --> 00:19:04,724 Well then what you said, the... the posters are up! 514 00:19:04,759 --> 00:19:06,943 Yes, the posters are up before they've even finished filming. 515 00:19:06,971 --> 00:19:08,995 So they're cancelling the film, until he walks in. 516 00:19:09,030 --> 00:19:09,722 Basically, yeah. 517 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:11,422 Oh, so they are cancelling the film. They're cancelling it. 518 00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:15,401 Okay, so, "uh, we're afraid that, um, uh, production has stopped" 519 00:19:15,435 --> 00:19:19,004 "on Mission Impossible, uh, 8, due to the death of Tom Cruise. It's done." 520 00:19:19,039 --> 00:19:20,272 "Hang on a minute!" "What?" 521 00:19:20,306 --> 00:19:22,074 "I'm Bryan." 522 00:19:22,108 --> 00:19:25,110 "Who the... who's Bryan? Oh my God, you look exactly like Tom Cruise!" 523 00:19:25,144 --> 00:19:28,580 "Oh, they've done that thing where they put Bryan's brain in Tom Cruise's body?" 524 00:19:28,614 --> 00:19:29,423 "Yeah." 525 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:32,117 "Ah, but it's not Tom Cruise. You can't act like him..." 526 00:19:32,119 --> 00:19:33,282 "I'm an actor." 527 00:19:33,402 --> 00:19:35,621 "Yeah, but are you as good, 'cause he was like one of the best actors..." 528 00:19:35,656 --> 00:19:36,956 "Yeah. He's not that good. I never rated him." 529 00:19:36,990 --> 00:19:38,791 "Yeah, but a lot of people did, and he's got..." 530 00:19:38,826 --> 00:19:40,393 "Yeah, but a lot of people didn't." 531 00:19:40,427 --> 00:19:42,162 "Right." "So let me bring in a new audience for you, eh? 532 00:19:42,196 --> 00:19:43,330 "I can bring a bit to this." 533 00:19:43,364 --> 00:19:44,035 Right. 534 00:19:44,063 --> 00:19:47,133 So this, of course, gives it a boost because... 535 00:19:47,168 --> 00:19:48,501 Right. Um... 536 00:19:48,536 --> 00:19:49,502 Well, the flagging franchise is being rejuvenated. 537 00:19:49,537 --> 00:19:51,071 People want to see how good Bryan is. 538 00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:53,406 The, the press, the news that's out there. 539 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,007 Tom Cruise and his new film. 540 00:19:55,042 --> 00:19:57,176 Well, it's not Tom Cruise. They can't say that. 541 00:19:57,210 --> 00:19:59,678 Well, it is though. When you look at him, you go "oh, it's Tom Cruise." 542 00:19:59,712 --> 00:20:01,847 Well no, you've gotta say a bloke that looks like Tom Cruise. 543 00:20:01,881 --> 00:20:04,749 "The body of Tom Cruise, the acting is still Bryan." 544 00:20:08,621 --> 00:20:09,854 "In a new movie..." 545 00:20:09,888 --> 00:20:11,189 "Mission Impossible 8", 546 00:20:11,223 --> 00:20:16,061 "starring the bones and skin and stuff of Tom Cruise. 547 00:20:16,095 --> 00:20:17,395 "With Bryan's brain!" 548 00:20:17,429 --> 00:20:19,063 Oh, forget it. Do you like.. 549 00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:24,269 Do you like Tom Cruise's face, but not his acting? 550 00:20:24,304 --> 00:20:27,340 Then you'll love Mission Impossible 8! 551 00:20:27,374 --> 00:20:28,474 I can't be bothered. 552 00:20:28,508 --> 00:20:30,009 Ah! Oh... 553 00:20:30,043 --> 00:20:31,911 "Mission Impossible 8, 554 00:20:31,946 --> 00:20:34,748 "from the people who brought you the first seven, 555 00:20:34,782 --> 00:20:38,052 "and the hair of the bloke who was in the first seven, 556 00:20:38,086 --> 00:20:40,655 "but with Bryan doing all the lines!" 557 00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:44,793 With Bryan! It's some cunt I've never heard of! 558 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:47,096 Oho, the seventh sequel! 559 00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:50,265 No wait, sorry, I really want to hear the ending of this movie. 560 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,569 Please let me ask, 'cause you've had, you had your chance to ask him questions. 561 00:20:53,603 --> 00:20:54,410 Right. 562 00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:57,472 So where are we, in a sort of 90-minute running time of movie, 563 00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,108 where are we now in the film? Are we about two-thirds of the way through? 564 00:21:00,142 --> 00:21:01,622 Wee close. We're close to the end. 565 00:21:01,650 --> 00:21:05,546 Okay. So, Mission Impossible 8 has been made. 566 00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:06,651 So what's the end of our movie? 567 00:21:06,688 --> 00:21:11,284 Not of Mission Impossible 8, but the movie you're making. What's the ending there? 568 00:21:11,318 --> 00:21:12,003 Uh... 569 00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,820 Do we ever get to see him in Mission Impossible 8? 570 00:21:14,854 --> 00:21:18,190 I think, yeah, but I think what happens is, um, 571 00:21:18,192 --> 00:21:20,926 he becomes the person who he never liked. 572 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,895 - I think, yeah, but I - What happens is, um, 573 00:21:22,929 --> 00:21:26,198 and it's, it's, I just wanna get across the moral that, who are we? 574 00:21:26,233 --> 00:21:29,836 Are we the people in our body, or the people we look like 575 00:21:30,838 --> 00:21:33,039 what's important in life? 576 00:21:33,074 --> 00:21:35,643 Is it the way you look, or the way you think? 577 00:21:35,677 --> 00:21:38,146 And he, he changes because he looks like Tom Cruise, 578 00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:39,848 he becomes the man he never liked. 579 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:42,117 Oh, and what's his girlfriend think of this? 580 00:21:42,151 --> 00:21:43,919 Whose? 581 00:21:43,953 --> 00:21:44,849 Bryan's. 582 00:21:45,197 --> 00:21:49,324 She's loving it, isn't she, cause it's... She always liked Tom Cruise. She's... 583 00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:52,427 What did Bryan look like? Who would play him in this film? 584 00:21:54,963 --> 00:22:00,367 Probably... what's his name, the bloke who was in cheers, probably. 585 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,469 Ted Danson? Ted Danson. 586 00:22:01,503 --> 00:22:02,214 Ted Danson. 587 00:22:02,334 --> 00:22:04,271 So Ted Danson is Bryan. 588 00:22:04,273 --> 00:22:05,873 So Claire, right... 589 00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,474 This is so confusing! 590 00:22:07,508 --> 00:22:11,512 Because Ted Danson's supposed to be someone that we've never heard of, 591 00:22:11,546 --> 00:22:13,547 even though he's Ted Danson, 592 00:22:13,581 --> 00:22:17,384 and Tom Cruise is playing himself, the famous actor Tom Cruise, 593 00:22:17,418 --> 00:22:21,955 who is now inhabited by Ted Danson, who's not Ted Danson. 594 00:22:21,989 --> 00:22:23,991 Ted Danson! 595 00:22:24,025 --> 00:22:26,527 (ln trailer voice "Ted Danson as Bryan." 596 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,164 Ted Danson as Bryan, 597 00:22:30,199 --> 00:22:34,770 as Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible 8. 598 00:22:36,005 --> 00:22:37,039 Forget it. Wow. 599 00:22:37,073 --> 00:22:39,341 Who's playing Claire? 600 00:22:39,376 --> 00:22:40,352 Uh... 601 00:22:40,390 --> 00:22:43,512 I don't... well I'm... I'm up for your, you know, that's why I've come to you. 602 00:22:43,547 --> 00:22:44,512 Okay, so... There's an obvious suggestion, 603 00:22:44,549 --> 00:22:46,549 Rebecca demornay. 604 00:22:47,322 --> 00:22:51,053 She's so hot after the love of a brain, or whatever it was called. 605 00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:56,224 Oh! 606 00:22:56,258 --> 00:22:58,793 you wanna go where everybody knows your name 607 00:22:58,827 --> 00:23:00,862 And it's Bryan! 608 00:23:03,364 --> 00:23:07,628 Sync and corrections by sp8ky for www.Addic7ed.Com 609 00:23:07,678 --> 00:23:12,228 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0